Going on a date should be an enjoyable, relaxing and interesting experience for both parties. No one should be unusually anxious about what the other party may or may not do properly. The following tips are provided to avoid any pitfalls.
1. Don’t go for the most expensive meal – Perhaps this should not be the first tip; however, we have chosen to make it so. Don’t go for the most expensive meal on the menu in a restaurant if you are not paying. Don’t even go near the most expensive. A date is not the appropriate opportunity to sample lobster, caviar or other exotic and expensive meals. You would not present yourself in a good light if you do so.
This matter came up at a training event we were facilitating recently and many of the guys gave the impression that they have been victims of this particular situation. So ladies beware! Guys are on the look out for this behaviour. Given that Nigeria is not a confrontational society, the fact that a guy does not object to the cost of your meal should not be taken to mean they do not mind.
2. Don’t talk too much – Talking too much is, well, talking too much. Don’t forget communication is a two way key. Make it a dialogue, not a monologue. Give your date the opportunity to talk about themselves too. Do not ask intrusive questions such as how much do you earn etc.
3. Communication is key – Although it is important not to talk too much about yourself, not talking at all may present you as shy, a snob or lacking intelligence. In other words, not talking at all is as bad as talking too much, if not worse.
4. Avoid food with strong smells – Certain food, such as onions, garlic, and certain fish have a strong smell and can mess up your breath. Beware!
5. Do not patronise your date – While it is good to give complimentary but honest remarks about your date, it is important not to overdo it or to sound too patronising. Avoid vacuous compliments too such as ‘you look like an angel’ as some may consider it patronising.
6. Dress well – For both male and female, appearance is important. Appearing tatty may show disinterest. In making the effort to dress well however, it is equally important to look decent. In other words, don’t overdo it.
7. Keep phones away – Mobile phones should be turned off when meeting people for a meal, more so on a date. Even if you do not pick a call, fiddling with the phone, checking messages or responding to them is rude, distracting and shows your interest lies elsewhere.
8. Protect yourself – In this time and age, be conscious of protecting yourself if you don’t know your date too well. Let people know where you are going and when you are meant to return. Never assume anything.
9. Never get drunk on a date – If possible avoid alcohol all together when going on a date. Alcohol can colour people’s judgement and behaviour and certainly presents people in bad light.
10. Set boundaries – Restrain yourself with boundaries from the start and before you set out so that it doesn’t flow into what you have not planned. If necessary, make this known to your date. A date is not an avenue for promiscuity. You are the master of your own destiny, so set and stick to the boundaries you set for yourself.
Picture credit to http://thelazymomdiaries.blogspot.com/