Relationships are destroyed not always by what people say, but often by what they neglect to say. In other words, relationships that could have fruitfully endured are sacrificed at the altar of in-utterance, or perhaps, indifference. In many cases, by the time people find out that there is a problem, it may be too late. The aim of this article therefore is to highlight a few phrases that everyone needs to say more often. Use them and you will improve on your interpersonal skills, nurture existing relationships and extend your sphere of influence.
Phrase No 1 – I APPRECIATE YOU
The way to show that you appreciate someone is certainly not by keeping mute about it. It is by saying it, and saying it often. It is common knowledge that people are most appreciated after their death. At funerals, people suddenly have a light bulb moment and realise all the good the deceased had done. Usually at these times, it is too late as the person is no longer able to hear the powerful words used by their loved ones to appreciate them. Our suggestion is don’t wait until your father, mother, wife or husband dies before you let them know how appreciative you are of the part they have played in your life. Do it today. Don’t just show it; say it. Plan an appreciative event and tell your loved ones what they really mean to you. Don’t wait till they die. Do it today. Appreciate each demonstration of love, every kindness shown and every help rendered. Appreciate the impact they have on your life.
Phrase No 2 – THANK YOU
Saying ‘thank you’ is a form of appreciation. Not saying it is rude and can be damaging to your personality. According to a popular Yoruba saying, the feeling is that of being robbed when a favour is done without a thank you. Say thank you each time a favour has been done, a job has been done or an assignment carried out even when it is that person’s legitimate duty. Say ‘thank you’ to your driver when he drops you at work, and to people who serve you food at a restaurant or at the cinema. Say it to children, spouses, work colleagues and friends. Don’t delay. You will differentiate your self from other people and command loyalty and love.
Phrase No 3 – HOW ARE YOU?
Although it is generally often the case that many people respond to this question with a swift “fine, thank you” answer, however, this is the case when the phrase is perceived as a form of greeting.
Don’t assume people are OK because they have not broken down or suffered stress related health issues. Ask your friends, family members, colleagues how they really are from time to time, especially if you detect they appear troubled or not their usual self. Asking people how they are is proof that you are interested in their well being, and may be an opportunity for them to discuss issues they may be facing. An African proverb says given that all lizards lie on their belly, it is not easily deducible which of them has a tummy ache. I suppose, in the case of humans, the way to find out is by asking how they are.
Phrase No 4 – HOW CAN I HELP?
It is not enough to find out how people are without going further to ask how you can be of help. Some people may need some form of assistance, yet lack the confidence to ask for it. Perhaps this may be because they are afraid they may be ridiculed or considered to be demanding. These often are family members who do not need more than a reassuring pat on the back. You will make things easier for them when you ask how you may help.
We all benefit when we do things right.
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