In our part of the world, people easily get upset about trivial matters. Relationships are broken, often about issues that don’t really matter. Some of these triggers are bewilderingly stupid or at the best comical, yet they create such huge problems.
This article looks at some of the things you should never get upset about. However tempted you are, do not use these to judge others. They are for you, the reader, to reflect on how you measure up, and hopefully assist you in choosing to build relationships rather than getting upset over trivial matters.
1. Don’t be upset if someone gives or receive something from you with their left hand. This may not be an attempt to be rude; it is possible that the person is left-handed. Why get upset about what someone has no control over?
2. Don’t get upset if you weren’t invited to an event/celebration. Space may be limited or they may simply not want to bother you. Even if it is an act of forgetfulness, why create a huge storm? Are people not allowed to be human? Let go, don’t get upset as your doing so will make life unnecessarily difficult for others.
3. Don’t be upset if someone can’t make an event or party. However odd it may seem to you, accept the regrets. Put a positive spin on it; it’s one less mouth to cater for.
4. Don’t be upset when an invitation is not as early as you expected. It’s incredible that some people expect that they should be the first to know whenever a family member or friend is planning an event. Even when they are given a long notice, some would still kick against not being informed sooner. The advice is stop getting too important!
5. Don’t be upset if someone did not inform you they were travelling out of town or fail to inform you they’d just arrived in town. I have often telephoned people after arriving on holiday only to be asked the dreaded questions: When did you arrive? Why are you just calling now after four good days? It’s like they need to know before you even plan or set out on your journey.
6. Don’t be upset if a family member or friend did not inform you she is pregnant. She may just want to keep it quiet. Give her the respect and space to so do.
7. Don’t be upset if someone cannot buy the aso ebi (family uniform) for your party. Some people do not like aso ebi; some people may not have the money, some budget how they spend to the last penny, some are not allowed by their husband or wife to buy aso ebi. The question to be asked is when did buying aso ebi become the measure of true friendship or appreciation? Or rather when did aso ebi become aso gbogbogbo? (free-for all uniform)
8. Don’t be upset if someone did not give you the respect you feel you deserve. Instead, give them the respect not accorded to you. You may succeed in turning the person around. It’s much better to earn someone’s respect than to be seen or smelt demanding it.
9. Don’t be upset if someone younger or junior relates with you on a first name basis. In other words, they do not prefix your name with ‘brother’, ‘sister’, ‘mummy’, ‘daddy’ or use sir/ma when they communicate with you. Be professional, don’t create a scene, and play the bigger person even if you believe the person is deliberately being insulting. Life’s too short to be a ‘hater’. After all, we refer to Jesus by his first name most, if not all of the time.
10. Don’t be upset when someone gives you a gift you feel is too little. It’s possible that the person gave what he could afford at that moment. It is a sign of good manners and good breeding to always appreciate a gift.
11. Don’t be upset when someone commits a major faux pas against you. Cultured people are very accommodating and do not usually put people down in the public glare.
12. Don’t be upset when someone did not curtsy, kneel or prostrate to greet you. Not doing any of these doesn’t always correspond to disrespect or lack of proper breeding. Doing any of them does not mean a person holds you in high esteem either.
13. Don’t be upset because someone did not respond to your email or social media messages quickly. The person may be busy at the time or may have specific time allotted to responding to messages. The expectations of social media can be overwhelmingly paralysing, and no one should be pressured into this technological servitude.
14. Don’t be upset if someone fails to thank you or adequately appreciate what you have done. Some people do not know how to articulate their appreciation, though they genuinely are.
We all benefit when we do things right!