How to Avoid a Feeling of Entitlement


Some people believe they have a right to their brother, sister, fellow congregant or friend’s money.

This is usually not a direct claim but an implied one. Some people believe that if a friend or family member is financially better off, even, if only slightly, he must of necessity dole out money to them, set them up in business or assist with their grand wedding or parent burial plans.

Oftentimes, people are bullied with incessant telephone calls or text messages requesting for assistance. To them, it does not matter whether the perceived benefactor has his own overwhelming responsibilities.

The result of this belief of entitlement is that resentment sets in from both sides, leading to a breakdown in relationships. Some so-called benefactors may even draw back from family if they are unable to meet up with the obligations expected of them.

In order to avoid this problem, we advice the following:

1. The starting point is that no one has a right to another person’s money.

2. Financial assistance from a friend or family member is therefore a privilege, not a right.

3. It is presumptuous to expect someone to simply dole out money they have laboured and kept sleepless nights for.

4. While financial support from family members has become our own form of welfare/social security system in Nigeria, there should be no feeling of entitlement from recipients.

5. Frequent telephone calls and text messages are bullying tactics and can give a feeling of stalking. They should be avoided.

We all benefit when we do things right.