4 Qualities that will make you easily Likeable

Have you ever wondered why some people are able to keep old friends and at the same time readily attract new ones. Why is it that some people can instantly hit it up with anyone they meet? Why, on the other hand, is it that certain people find it difficult to hold down relationships though they may be very good at what they do.

The simple fact is that being likeable is not the preserve of some special people. You too can become likeable if you work at it. If this is your aim, the following qualities will assist you in endearing yourself to people:

1. Sensitivity – Be sensitive to people around you. This includes sensitivity in what you say and do. The reason for this is because what you say has an effect on people long after you might have said it. So watch out! Don’t be frivolous with words. Be sensitive to people’s religion, culture, race, ethnicity, gender, disability and you will hardly offend.

In the same vein, the actions you take might have been long forgotten by you, yet the impact on the person at the receiving end could still be fresh many years after. Being sensitive about what you say and do builds trust and credibility for you. It also means that people can be themselves around you. All of these improve your standing before other people and by default your likeability.

2. Reliability – A reliable person is a trusted person, one whose behaviour or work tallies with what is expected. When your word is your bond, people instantly take to you. When you have a proven record of delivering on what you say, or do what you promise, it becomes easy for people to trust you. You will also be showing that you are dependable and no one will soon forget this quality. Reliability is also about consistency and professionalism in executing a task given to you. If for any reason you cannot meet a promised deadline, inform your client or person involved immediately rather than keeping them in the dark.

The attributes of meeting expectations, doing what you promise and consistency in carrying out tasks can only enhance your reputation and promote your likeability.

3. Showing genuine interest in people – Likeable people see everyone as important and they show this in the way they treat everyone they meet. They make people feel important when they talk to them, they look for the best in others and not for their faults. They also encourage people and have good listening skills.

It is no rocket science that people will gravitate more to someone that shows genuine interest in them than to those who care less. You will prefer someone who is patient with you than someone who uses conversations to boost their personal ego or make you look small. Likeable people understand all these and use every opportunity to bring people up even when they want to correct them. Rather than give in to cynical remarks or show off their intelligence and decisiveness, likeable people spin their actions and words positively, because they are genuinely interested in the growth and development of others.

4. Ability to handle difficult issues – The default position for many people is to hit the roof when they have been offended. Some people find it much easier to be angry and show it when situations don’t go their way. If this is you, it will be very difficult for people to like or be attracted to you.

To improve your likeability quotient, learn how to contain yourself and manage your own emotions. Avoid fighting all battles and reacting to every attack on your personality. People who handle difficult situations well are admired and respected. It is a quality you must develop if you want to become likeable.

We all benefit when we do things right.

Consideration, Sensitivity, and Respect – What is etiquette?

My experience as a trainer and etiquette consultant has taught me that most people have a wrong view of etiquette. Many people feel it’s about being ‘prim and proper’. To some, etiquette is equivalent to snobbery i.e. ‘showing class’ by not engaging with people. Others see etiquette only in terms of dining or dressing.

Some feel etiquette is about formalities (‘dos’ and ‘don’ts’) – don’t do this, don’t do that. For many others, etiquette connotes European or Western’ values and they resent what they see as a new form of colonisation. The people that fall into this last category are probably not mindful of the fact that Africa is replete with etiquette and ours, in many instances, is more forceful and certainly guides most of our waking and sleeping moments.

Etiquette is not only about dos and don’ts; if it is, everyone will have to master an impossible list of what to do and not do on different occasions in different cultures for different situations. In reality, etiquette is about ‘consideration’, ‘sensitivity’, and ‘respect’.

In other words, show consideration to people in everything you do, avoid being selfish and do to people what you will take from people. Out goes deception, abuse, ‘smartness’, using people etc.

Secondly, be sensitive to people in whatever you do or say. Avoid thoughtless words; be sensitive to people’s culture, gender and situation. This will mean avoiding sexist, racist or any offensive gestures or jokes. It also means thinking before you do or say anything.

Thirdly, show respect to others irrespective of their age, gender, social or economic status. Showing respect means not looking down, not talking down or standing people up whoever they may be.

You will find that in all matters, whether of dressing, dating, driving, business relationships, marriage, visiting people, leading a team, travelling or eating in public, you will behave better and differentiate yourself when you show consideration, sensitivity and respect to people.

All of us at the ParkRoyalFinishingSchool and EtiquetteBank enjoin you to show consideration, sensitivity and respect to people today.

We all benefit when we do things right! EtiquetteBank